Don't Let Social Media Make You Miserable

Over the last decade, social media has quickly grown to become the center of our lives. We stress over keeping our social media lives updated, we stress over if people are paying attention to the things we post, and we care how the things that we post differ from our friends. When you think about it all it seems kind of funny, it seems funny that we care so much about our social media personas that we fuel off of the thumbs up sign on Facebook or the heart on Instagram and Twitter.

In a recent New York Times article, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, an expert in using big-data sources to uncover previously hidden behaviors and attitudes, argued using his research that social media is making us miserable.

“We are all dimly aware that everybody else can’t possibly be as successful, rich, attractive, relaxed, intellectual and joyous as they appear to be on Facebook. Yet we can’t help comparing our inner lives with the curated lives of our friends.”

I’ve been in lots of situations with friends where someone will post a picture or tweet something and the conversation quickly shifts from talking about the most recent episode of Scandal to the person asking us all to whip out our phones and like the post. By doing so this is considered a form of support. Equivalent to bringing someone flowers to their performance or making someone a sign to cheer them on at a soccer game. We have completely changed what the word “like” means! So what does the word “like” actually mean. According to dictionary.com in this instance “like” means “an instance of indicating one's liking or approval of a web page or posting on a social media website.” And that’s fine. If the word “like” is a noun to indicate approval of postings on a social media website that is fine, however, it is when to like something essentially fuels someone’s self conscious fire within that is where social media makes us miserable. The problem is that we have become so caught up in this endless cycle of need the approval of others on our own lives. This problem has influenced us to essentially structure our lives based on what will fuel this fire within us. We see opportunities in our lives, whether that is going to the beach, prom, or just meeting up with friends as a way for us to highlight our lives and see if our followers “like” what we are doing.

In 2014 the Thai government issued this public health warning message that young Thais who post pictures of themselves on social media but don’t receive enough positive feedback are encountering emotional problems such as loss of self confidence and negative attitudes toward themselves. Government psychiatrist Dr. Panpimol Wipulakorn went on to add that this correlation between selfies and crippling self confidence could affect the development of the country in the future as the number of new generation leaders will fall short or won’t receive positive feedback about their leadership and in the end this could hinder the country’s creativity and innovation. Why are we letting the fact that whether or not people choose to click a button affect us in this way?

However this brings up an interesting point: The future of our generation. What are the lasting effects of social media making us miserable? Millennials have received a lot of criticism about being too lazy, too needy, too materialistic, and too reliant on the approval of others. Coincidence? Maybe. The thing is, unlike other generations before us we were born into an age where everything around us is digital and because of this social media has become a way to express ourselves. Perhaps maybe the reason that our generation has been stereotyped so much to rely on the approval of others is because that is the environment we have grown up in. We have grown up to know that when people like your status, tweet, or picture your life is approved. Every like is a stamp of approval and thus our pride is rewarded.

Now typically when we discuss the effects that social media has on our lives the ultimate goal is to try to get you to put down the phone or close your laptop. A lot of people try and convince you that the only way to solve the problems of social media is to remove it completely. I actually think that we should do quite the opposite. While yes, there is a problem with social media and its affect on how we view ourselves, I don’t think that the problem is the amount of social media that we are using, but rather our view of what social media is intended to do. This is not what social media was intended to do. Social media at its core was intended for us to connect with people all over the world. For you to share what is going on in your life to your family that lives across the country or even your best friend that lives in a different state. So if social media was intended for us to connect we must stop looking at it as a platform for us to improve how we see ourselves.

We as millennials were born with a different skill set than any other generation before us. We were born with an innate sense and knowledge of technology. In this digital era we cannot let what is at our core prevent us from being successful in a digital era. I believe that we are the most prepared for the job market compared to any other generation because of this skills that we have. Rather than let technology and social media belittle us and force us to be what other generations see as “needy” or “lazy” we must use this skill to strengthen us as a generation.

Social media is a medium for us to share what is going on in our lives, but it is also a medium in which we have the power to find ourselves and express ourselves in our most true from. I believe that I as millennial born in this digital age, we can be successful by simply letting go of feeling the need to be perfect to those that view our social media profiles. We can beat the stereotypes that generations have labeled us with and instead be the most successful generation yet because of our innate skills that make us smarter, and more qualified than anyone else in the room. One way we can do this is by simply changing the way that we look at social media and its role in our lives. Social media should never be a negative place for anyone. Stop letting social media make you miserable.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/06/opinion/sunday/dont-let-facebook-make-you-miserable.html?rref=collection%2Fspotlightcollection%2Fcontributing-oped-writers&action=click&contentCollection=opinion&region=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=65&pgtype=collection